My Top Ten Beach Likes and Unlikes

23 Jun

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I’m writing today from my vacation at the beach.  I grew up in Fort Lauderdale, Florida so the beach has always been significant for me.  As an adult, I prefer the mountains of Tennessee over the shores I know in Florida or the Carolinas but the beach is surely a striking place and it calls me back to its tides a couple of times a year.  I write lightly today about some of the things that strike me about being oceanside.

The Likes (of Me): 

  1. The terrific variety of body types all boldly out there.
  2. The awesome lifeguard who never sat down because he was patrolling the shore keeping families safe.  He rocked.
  3. Frozen lemonade.  It rocks.
  4. The very soft very blonde very little boy I’ve been adoring from afar.  Plus he’s a hand-holder.
  5. Watching little kids hop hop hopping over tiny waves as if it were some serious athletic feat.
  6. The after-beach shower and nap.
  7. That I’ve not been so stupid as to think that laying out in the sun slathered in cooking oil is a good idea in a very very long time.
  8. The smell of fried fish from the café.  (This should be moved to the Unlike list, though, after about 1:45.  Ick.)
  9. Soft waves creeping up over my feet as I sun sleeping at the cool water’s edge.
  10. Babies napping in the hot and tired arms of their mothers.  Wait.  Maybe this is an Unlike.

The Unlikes: 

  1. Always being nervous that my umbrella is going to be plucked from the sand by a gust of wind and will crash into somebody.  Or somebody’s kid.
  2. Never knowing where the spot will be on my body that the sunscreen did not cover.  Over my right eyebrow? Middle of my thigh?  Above my left breast?  Who knows.  Each day a mystery.
  3. The way that so many guys seem to carry themselves with better posture than so many gals.  I know that this is all wrapped up in cultural things, and some bone things but a good bit of it is just plain old bad posture.  Get those shoulders back! Sheesh!
  4. Radios.  Give it a rest, people.
  5. Not being permitted to swim out as far as I want to go.  (The downside of Like #2).
  6. The way men and boys must throw a ball near other people…a hard football and even a baseball!  What is it they’re not getting?  Seriously?
  7. Sanded, raw tummies and knees from boogie boarding.
  8. The way grownups, usually men, sit at the shoreline for a few minutes, pretending that they’re not sitting there to pee. 
  9. The fact that what I read as a healthy, tanned image reflected in the mirror really portends cancer, not health. :/
  10. Driving home from the beach on the same day everyone else in the entire universe is driving home, and on the same road.

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